Understand the building blocks to maintain your relationship
Establish safety, build and maintain trust, nurture connection
> > What would it be like to talk with your partner about a grievance, an unpleasant feeling, or something you need WITHOUT automatically getting into a conflict?
>> What would it be like NOT to avoid that talk because you hate getting into arguments?
>> What would it feel like to get through a disagreement, misunderstanding, or miscommunication and feel POSITIVE at the end?
You get the answers to these questions at this one day workshop. You will learn what you need to know in order to communicate effectively, stop blaming, and start improving your connection with compassion and understanding.
Who this is for:
You struggle to communicate clearly, which leads to avoidance, resentment, and conflict without anything being resolved.
You need to learn new ways to communicate your feelings in ways that are respectful to yourself and your partner in order to be heard and understood.
You joke about your feelings, make passive aggressive statements, or sweep things under the rug.
You’re puzzled and at a loss for how to course correct to feel connected to your partner again. To have fun again. To remember why you’re together in the first place.
Couples of any age, gender, length of relationship. There is no time that is too early or too late to improve communication and connection.
This is not for you if:
The future of your relationship is unclear.
You can’t agree to communicate about difficult topics without exploding in anger or containing other destructive impulses.
You are not ready to take accountability and talk about feelings, communication patterns, and ways to make adjustments as a couple.
You want to blame your partner for everything that’s a struggle in your relationship and believe he or she is the only one that has to change.
Learn about these topics + gain these skills
{Aka- what we'll be doing...}
> Trust
Learn how to BRAVE CONNECTION with the 7 essential components of trust in relationships
Understand how to use a marble jar as a metaphor for trust in your relationship
> Boundaries
First, learn what boundaries are so you can learn how to use them accordingly and establish safety
Gain 2 tried and true ways to set firmer boundaries so you can communicate what is ok and what's not ok when it comes to your relationship
The two questions you have to ask yourself when setting a boundary
> Empathy
Understand the 5 parts of empathy and how to listen without rushing to "fix it."
Practice responding empathically to learn how to "circle back." In non-therapist terms, learn what to do if you mess up the first time around and are worried about revisiting the conversation.
> Communicating needs
Before you can communicate your needs, you first need to identify what they are. Get the unique tool to identify your needs.
Learn how to communicate authentically without criticism, judgment, or blame.
When you understand where your partner is coming from, you have more compassion. When you have more compassion, you increase feelings of intimacy, love, and connection.
> Put it all together
Pull together all the pieces of the earlier work: trust, boundaries, empathy and needs to create a road map for moving forward. When you understand what your partner needs and how they want to communicate about it, it sets up a much smoother pathway for continued connection.
> Moving Forward
Take these skills on the (smoother) road to support your relationship as you integrate them into your daily lives.
Connect your needs to your values, identify rituals or routines to practice your values in your relationship and in your family.
{The Details}
This workshop is now conducted virtually for everyone’s scheduling ease and needs.
Format:
Scheduling is done after application is completed and payment has been made.
Individual work: Prior to the first meeting with me, and during 1 module of the workshop
Couples work: Majority of time spent discussing modules, reflecting on answers, and practicing skills.
Meeting with me: 2-3 hours of virtual sessions for learning, reviewing, and Q & A, split up according to your needs as a couple.
Ok, ok, that's great, but why do I need these tools again?
You don't have to feel this way anymore...
>> You're tired of giving in to what your partner wants and agreeing to things you really don't want to do. You do this because you don't want to seem "rude" or "mean" or "selfish." It's terrifying to speak up for yourself, so... you just don't.
>> Alternatively, you are frustrated by waiting for your partner to follow through on tasks, decisions, and requests. You don’t know how to get what you want and need, and are FED UP.
>> You may wait days, weeks, or months to let someone know what's bothering you, or your partner finally pulls it out of you, but you explode, yell, or say things you can never take back.
>> The smoke and mirrors game of avoidance is just getting old. It's tiring to wonder when the subject will come up again, figure out how you're going to dodge it then or (gasp) say something.
> Ultimately, you want to feel like an adult who knows how to handle things in a mature way, and feel fulfilled in your relationship because your needs can get met.
Complete the workshop and:
:: Feel relieved in having the tools to KNOW WHAT TO SAY + WHEN TO SAY IT
:: Feel empowered and confident to own your feelings because you'll know how to communicate authentically, with accuracy and respect.
:: Stop the cycle of avoidance
:: Stop withholding the truth about what you think and how you feel
:: Understand how to approach your partner with sensitivity, empathy and compassion
:: Know how to engage your partner in a way that will lead to success, not conflict
:: Know what your needs are and how to seek out getting them met
:: Know how your partner experiences empathy and appreciates being heard when he or she is approaching you.
What we will not cover | What this will not be
The topic of every conflict you and your partner have had
Couples counseling, therapy, refereeing, etc.
Conflict resolution during the workshop
Exploration of the shame and trauma from childhood or the past that can contribute to difficulties in communication.
We are covering the HOW and not the WHY. In therapist-y terms: we focus on the process and not the content.
Common myths about “happy” couples
They never argue
They have the perfect amount of sex and intimacy
They don’t need to work on their relationship
They tell each other everything
They do everything together
The goal is not to get to the idealistic fantastical promised land of a “happy couple.” The goal is to learn how to communicate so that you co-create the best ways to communicate with each other based on your individual needs, feelings, and values. This is different for every couple. As there are several pieces of this puzzle to figure out, we will lay out each piece and put them together over the course of the day, based on your own individual answers. This in turn, helps you create your Couples Compass. YOUR formula for success, sustainability, trust, and lasting connection.
Be a unique couple who:
Stops blaming and learns how to take accountability
Understands the other’s needs
Can go through a difficult conversation without defensiveness
Lives in alignment with their individual and joint values