You are not responsible for others’ feelings and behaviors. They are. We grow up believing we are responsible because others blame us for their pain. “It’s your fault I’m mad.” “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t feel this way.” “You made me mad/upset.” “You make me crazy.”
→ This makes you believe you are in control of others’ emotions, and you learn that you want to avoid the shame results from another’s blame like the plague. You learn to alter your actions to avoid making someone “mad,” and being perceived as a disappointment or an instigator.
Read moreDigging into self-help can be like wading into a swamp, and may lead some to feel as though they are more stuck than when they started. Wait, aren’t I supposed to be an advocate for personal growth and change? Yes, and I am.
Why does this happen? When we embark on the journey that we’ve been avoiding for so long, we uncover more and more things that we didn’t realize were THINGS. Things to be addressed. Things to feel. Things to talk about. Things to think about. Things to just deal with. Everyday. All the things. It can feel like more weight to carry than less. You may want to scream, I don’t want one more THING to deal with. I know, I know.
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