New Year but same feelings— this is what I’ve been hearing from people as the year begins. It’s hard when it feels like the same thing day in and day out, the weather is gloomy, COVID is surging, and we still can’t do the things we want when we want. I’m not going to tell you to be grateful. Gratitude is a wonderful tool and helpful mindset sometimes, but often nails-on-a-chalkboard when feeling overwhelmed and down.
The new year also brings the clichéd and tired idea of resolutions. So many things to change, start, or upend. Can we not? In a recent group, we discussed a shift in perspective: what can we STOP doing, what can we let go of? We don’t always have to start new things.
Read moreYou are not responsible for others’ feelings and behaviors. They are. We grow up believing we are responsible because others blame us for their pain. “It’s your fault I’m mad.” “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t feel this way.” “You made me mad/upset.” “You make me crazy.”
→ This makes you believe you are in control of others’ emotions, and you learn that you want to avoid the shame results from another’s blame like the plague. You learn to alter your actions to avoid making someone “mad,” and being perceived as a disappointment or an instigator.
Read moreAdmit it- you sometimes analyze the hell out a text message exchange with your partner, the person you’re dating, or a friend. What does that even mean? Why did she say it that way? We react at lightning speed and defend something that wasn’t intended to be offensive.
Read moreWhatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there/with open arms and open eyes, yeah/Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there, I’ll be there.
To me, this speaks directly to the courage required to SHOW UP, BE SEEN, and LIVE BRAVETM.
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