You are not responsible for others’ feelings and behaviors.  They are.  We grow up believing we are responsible because others blame us for their pain.  “It’s your fault I’m mad.”  “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t feel this way.”  “You made me mad/upset.” “You make me crazy.”

→ This makes you believe you are in control of others’ emotions, and you learn that you want to avoid the shame results from another’s blame like the plague. You learn to alter your actions to avoid making someone “mad,” and being perceived as a disappointment or an instigator.